8 Ways to Practice Self-Care During the Holidays
Reserve Your Energy for the Things that Matter: You
The holidays are once again upon us. If you’re married, the stress of choosing which side of the family to visit is real if your respective parents live in multiple states. If you’re single, you don’t want to be alone and possibly not around family. If you’re in a new relationship, you may be wondering if your person is ready to spend a major holiday with you and possibly meet your family. All of these decisions and overthinking amounts to social obligation and people-pleasing.
The most important lesson you’ll need to learn is to do exactly what you want to do based on your intuition and energy. In the back of your mind, always remember that you are a soul on this Earth having a human experience and learning lessons. Self-care during the holidays is one of those tests for some people who may have lived for others in a past life to their own detriment. For others, the lesson is simply to find better use of your time on this Earth.
Here is a list of ways you can practice self-care during the holidays:
Make Social and Family Obligations Optional
If you receive an invitation to a social and/or family obligations, you can always check the box for “maybe” without explanation. If people reach out to you or request that you declare your attendance too far in advance, then say, “no.” That’s already the energy of expectation that you don’t want to cater to during this holiday season, especially if you’re in the middle of transformation, spiritual awakening or have some planets moving around in your astrological chart that make you especially sensitive. Unless the event is at a venue where reservations are required and will cost that person a cancellation fee, then you can make a decision and declare your intention to attend or decline. Even if you change your mind at the last minute, you can always offer to repay the host for the fee. A host of any event at a person’s own home should be their own financial responsibility and flexibility should be expected up to three days in advance. Boom! You’re welcome for the extra social etiquette advice.
Reserve the Right to Cancel
As expressed in the previous point, you have to reserve your right to follow your energy. You may be labeled flaky, but at least you’re not suffering through an event being surrounded by people who pull on your energy. You also signal to people that you decide what you want to do and the spirit of expectation will lessen over time for that individual or group. You’ll lose some friends and maybe even upset family members, but the next time a holiday tradition or event pops up, no one will assume you’re attending because pressure has been applied.
Offer Alternatives
I have mastered the art of making my own day. This involves thinking creatively about how I show my loved ones that I still care, even if I decline an invitation or have to cancel on a social event. I highly recommend you read The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. What you learn about your love language and others’ — romantic, familial, or platonic, will make all the difference in how you offer an alternative to a loved one. I recently had two birthday invitations for parties that were on the same day, back-to-back. One was a party for a small child (lots of kids with energy!) and then transitioning into an adult party where outfit changes were required. As an introvert, that is a completely exhausting day to me, so I accepted one and offered an alternative outing to the other. My alternative for a dear friend involved an activity that spoke to both of our shared love languages: Quality Time. So I set a date for the following weekend to take her out for a one-on-one dinner. This is just one potential solution to ensure that you don’t overextend yourself. Please share other ideas in the comments.
Weather Clause
If you’re like me, your attendance can sometimes be weather-dependent. Maybe you don’t want to drive in the snow because you don’t have snow tires. Maybe it’s raining really hard before you start your journey and you don’t want to be stuck in traffic or accidents. Whatever the case may be, this is an acceptable reason to cancel your plans. Again, offer up alternatives and make sure you let the host acknowledges your message or call regarding your cancelation so that they’re not worried about where you are. Most people understand that weather issues are a major factor in people’s travel journeys, especially those in major cities or rural areas.
Mental Health Days Look Like Spa Day on a Wednesday
No one is saying to call in sick, but if you have the paid-time off, take it. Maybe you need the extra day to go shopping for your own holiday social gathering. Maybe you need it to get a pedicure, massage, or to binge-watch your favorite show before things get busy with holiday prep and family arrival. Whatever the case may be, take that mental health day and don’t feel guilty about it. The extra energy you give to yourself will help to extend your shelf life at other social events, especially for introverts. It’s like charging up your battery in anticipation that it’ll be drawn down over the holidays.
Work, Literally
Sometimes, work holiday parties or “happy” hours are social obligations, especially when they turn into after-hours events. Some coworkers and bosses totally vibe at social events, but others are just an extension of a work obligation. The boss thinks it’s cool to invite employees to an expensive restaurant or bar, thank everyone for a job well done, but don’t offer to pay for drinks. You don’t want to look like you’re not a part of the team, but you also aren’t making ends meet, need to save up for a trip or gifts for your actual loved ones. If you feel obliged to attend this social gathering, this is a perfect opportunity to purchase a non-alcoholic drink and head home after an hour. Let everyone know that you’ve got a big weekend or day ahead of you and you need your rest. If you feel comfortable canceling, then cancel. You are only required to do your job…in the office, during work hours. Social events are not required.
Protect Your Energy
If you must uphold social obligations, make sure you protect your energy. For those with spiritual leanings, there are several crystals that you can wear on your body to protect your energy (black obsidian, onyx, etc.). Some might say a small prayer to the Universe/God/Source to protect your energy before the event. After the event, you can also sage yourself after you leave a social gathering, especially if you encountered toxic energy.
Vacation
Well, there’s always the option to not deal with the holidays at all and take a vacation far away on the ski slopes, on a cruise, or to warmer weather environments. This removes all social expectation to attend any social obligations happening that you physically can’t attend. You’ve got plans that cost you money and you can’t change them.
Overall, this holiday season may be even more social than during the pandemic. People are gathering more and trying to catch up for lost time. It’s not your responsibility to cater to these energies and expectation, but there are reasonable ways to practice self-care while still showing your loved ones that you care.
Evangeline Koru is a psychic medium, life coach and spiritual advisor. Follow her on Instagram (@evangelinekoru) or visit her website at https://evangelinetheoracle.com/
