Rejection: Not Being Chosen is a Good Thing

Evangeline Koru
6 min readMay 10, 2023

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3 Ways the Universe Uses Rejection to Protect You or Teach You a Lesson

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Ever date someone and in the beginning everything is great? You might talk for hours the first time you talk on the phone. You meet them and the chemistry feels great. The conversation is easy and you leave the date walking on clouds. Then, without any warning, the days or weeks go on and you hear less and less from them, or worse, the person just silently quits or ghosts you?

Never fear, that ending had the Universe’s stamp all over it. It was the cosmos working in your favor to ensure that you don’t make a mistake in love. A fail safe way of removing a potential time wasters out of your life in case the very subtle signs from the Universe (or red flags) didn’t give you a clue. Better yet, that rejection sparked you on your soul journey.

Whether your love or crush was a short-term or long-term connection, it was a lesson you needed at the time. Sometimes you need to learn how to be more discerning when choosing lovers. Sometimes the lesson is you need to be treated like an option to learn to love yourself above all others to finally attract the love that you’ve always desired. Besides, what would happen if you meet your forever love at the wrong time in life? When you’re still unlearning codependency with a starter soulmate?

Whatever the case may be, here are 3 ways the universe uses rejection in your life:

[Trigger Warning] Ghosting: First of all, I’m sorry that someone treated you this way. This is by far the rudest way to disconnect from someone, but it is by far the most effective way the Universe helps you get over someone who truly did not deserve your time. Nor did this person serve a higher purpose in your life other than to teach you a lesson or protect you from whatever bad experience you would’ve inevitably gone through and set you back on your soul journey. More on the soul journey later.

This was a pure protection scenario where you may have missed the earlier signs, but ICYMI again, the Universe made sure that door was sealed shut. Take this as a sign that whatever is on the other side of that door is nothing good for you and thank the cosmos they spared you from a major heartache.

It’s not you, it’s them breakups: Nowadays, breakups happen before the relationship truly has a chance to grow. With the age of swiping for dates on apps like you were shopping online, comes the low attention span daters with it. In the past, breakups may have taken 3–6 months to fully take effect after the push and pull of two lovers who may have a strong chemical attraction to each other, but not much else. The physical connection is good, you feel a natural high when you’re around them. They seem familiar to you. They’re like your perfectly legal drug.

Then, out of nowhere, you hear less and less from them. It’s like pulling teeth to get them to connect again just like it was before. Besides, didn’t they have a great time too? Next thing you know, you’re scrolling through profiles on the dating app again and literally no one sparks your interest but them. You try your person again, but they’ve either ghosted you, blocked you on every social media platform, or just told you that they’re “going through something,” “they’re not ready for a relationship,” or “they’re working on themselves.”

All or none of these things can be true, but even if it’s not, you have to accept the fact that the connection doesn’t work for them anymore. They just came to that conclusion earlier than you. You want closure, but you can’t get it.

This is another way the Universe teaches you to focus on your needs in relationships. You just have one or two more relationships that destroy you and then you’re writing lists of characteristics of what you want your person to be like, you’re reading articles like this one or about attachment styles, or even better [the Universe smiles like a Chesier cat], the ending sparks you to take a leap onto your spiritual path. Trust and believe, that ending sets you on a more divine path if you truly learned the lesson, and potentially to finally finding the real love of your life.

This was most likely a karmic soulmate who you had a soul contract with to ensure you’d learn this lesson. This person has to play this role in order for you to wake up to what is best for you. Thank them for their time and keep it moving. You’ve got even bigger fish in the sea, like this next soulmate journey.

Separation happens a lot when you’ve met an epic soulmate or Twin Flame love. Sometimes this love burns fast and hot. You’ve never met anyone like them in your life. You feel like you’ve known them from a past life. You dream about them. You don’t really need to talk to each other (mostly because you can’t keep your hands off of each other), you just feel what they need to tell you. The flip side of that deep connection is that you’re left utterly confused when they pull their energy back from you because the connection is too intense.

This is probably one of the most important connections in your life that the Universe uses as its Capstone course in soul development. This soulmate got your full attention. It feels like a spiritual flame has been lit inside your physical body, your mind has been invaded by thoughts of them all day, and your heart bursts in flames at the thought of you being separated from them, but it happens anyway. You break up with them because you don’t feel respected. They block you because they can’t handle everything you’re ready to give them, and then you come back together again and again.

This is the point in your entire life that you need to pause. Take the detour that this separation has provided and get to know yourself and your purpose in this lifetime. The Universe is going to speak to you in a language that you finally understand. It may be angel numbers, spirit animals, strangers saying mundane things that have deeper meaning to you. You love up on animals, hell, you may even get a pet. You’re closer to the Earth, you care about what happens to it, you care less about what’s happening to you, but finally understand that things are happening for you.

And just as you go through the hell of finding yourself again, your person tip toes back into your life to apologize, or you spark them on their own spiritual journey. Trust that even if you never hear from this soulmate again, you have truly affected their life. They will never forget you. You two may actually meet your future spouse right after this. If you had a child together, you may learn to co-parent and find the joy in being friends.

However this soulmate journey begins in earnest or ends, you will be a better person because of it and that is all that counts. The Universe has so much in store for those who take on the awakened soul journey. They write articles in Medium, they write books, they become relationship coaches, or they simply become the best human they can be, shining their light like a lighthouse helping troubled ships come to shore after a storm.

Learn to take rejection as a win that the Universe is leaving you breadcrumbs back to your true self and the greatest journey of your life via the vehicle of love and connection.

Evangeline Koru is a psychic medium, life coach and spiritual advisor. Follow her on Instagram (@evangelinekoru) or visit her website at https://evangelinetheoracle.com/

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Evangeline Koru
Evangeline Koru

Written by Evangeline Koru

Evangeline Koru (she/her) is a life coach and spiritual advisor. Learn more at: https://evangelinetheoracle.com/

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