Surviving a Tower Moment: 9 Ways to Ease the Pain of Change and Jump Headlong Into a New Reality
For Times When the Strong Crave Strength From Others and Come Up Short
Are you the strong one in your family and friends network? Are you always the person that others go to for advice when they have relationship or marital problems, gripes about dating, loans, or they just need to vent. You’re practically everyone’s healer, therapist, financial advisor and best friend all in one.
Then you go through a tower moment of your own and everything you learned through lessons, mistakes, and best practices that carried you through healing and made you the resident expert, doesn’t apply anymore. All of a sudden you’re not sure what to do when you’re presented with a challenge or a crisis. Nothing you did before works anymore and you feel stuck.
Sound familiar? Well, you’re not alone. For the awakened soul, you can almost feel this moment approaching as the Universe gently nudges you toward the cliff and prepares you to jump into a new reality. A reality where you’re being asked to level up and do something you’ve never done before. It’s scary. Trust me. I know.
The nudge can start with being in a toxic work environment and feeling like you have to get out. The next thing is being hit with a phone book: a financial crisis. It hurts but doesn’t leave a bruise. Finally, you may just lose that job right in the middle of finding a new one. Now you’re realizing that you’re at the cliff and the buffalo are charging at you so you don’t have any choice but to take that leap.
Rest assured, when you need strength and you have no one to turn to, here are some survival tips for a successful cliff jump into your new reality:
- Self-Care: If there ever was a “start here” point when everything is falling apart, self-care is it. This might look like a staycation, a social media detox, a trip to the nail salon, a massage or a hike in a forest. Whatever way you get away from your day-to-day reality and reminds you to focus on yourself, your mental and emotional wellness is exactly what the doctor ordered. You can’t be strong for others if you’re not taking care of yourself.
- Journal: You may not like to read books or write, but there’s something cathartic about journaling. Do the blank pages make you feel pressure to fill them up? If so, just start writing your deepest, darkest feelings about what’s happening in your life. Vent to yourself. No one is going to judge you. You’re going burn those pages anyway, right? Unless you want to document your madness and breakthroughs to healing and success for a future book deal.
- Your Therapist is Your Friend: When you work with a therapist who has no emotional attachment to your issues, you get to unpack your issues and concerns and you learn tools to get you through this challenging phase of your life. Note: If you cannot afford therapy, there are a few online options, such as BetterHelp.
- Don’t Do Drugs: The strong almost never resort to drugs, but it needs to be said. Doing drugs is like swimming in a cesspool of totally unprocessed raw sewage. It’s escapism and you’re bound to tap into some part of yourself that has just given up on life. Is that really what you want your life to spiral down into? Nope? I didn’t think so. Moving on….
- Closed for Business: For the duration of your healing journey as you mine the depths of your own soul for that well of strength you fear has left you, you must pull back your energy and penchant for helping others while neglecting yourself. That may mean letting that call or text from the toxic friend or family member go to voicemail or silencing the notifications on your phone from them. Eventually, they will find the answers they seek. Right now, you need to focus on you. Which brings me to my next tip…..
- Hermit Mode: This may sound counterintuitive to people who are extroverts and are energized by being around others, but self-isolation is key to sitting with your own thoughts and feelings so that you don’t distract yourself from this very important moment in your life. Sometimes listening to too many outside voices in your own affairs isn’t helpful. It’s like listening to an echo chamber and people who look at you The Strong One in shock and horror that you don’t know what to do. Being in your own mind and your own energy can spark solutions that you hadn’t considered before.
- Diving Deeper Into Spirituality: There is no prescription of what spirituality looks like. Spirituality is not religion. It can be a little bit Buddhist, a little bit nihilist, part Christian. Whatever. What you choose to believe to bring you comfort is your own choice, but the act of exploring this aspect of yourself can bring you healing and strength to get you through a tough time. Some forms of spiritual beliefs and practices can ground you into the new reality that you’re being thrust into. You may not know what direction to go in next, but you might wake up each morning and meditate or take a sound bath and feel like something in your life works and brings you piece. Already, the well is starting to fill back up again and your ability to rely on your own judgment and intuition is restored.
- Dream a Little Dream: The expectations of others’ dreams for your life are starting to fall away. You are no longer bound by what everyone thinks you should be. Technically, you’ve already lived that life and did a damn good job of it. Now it’s time to live your life authentically. Who are you? You’re not a set of goals and objectives that lead to a secure life with the backdrop of a home, a spouse, kids and/or pets. You are a human being having a human experience. You’re going to have emotions that range from fear to regret, you’re going to feel joy, people will disappoint you, but most importantly you’ll no longer be an observer of your life. You’ll actually co-create with the Universe this next chapter of your life. So why not dream big? Create a vision board on Pinterest, or do an old school one on poster board. Look at it every morning and write in your journal your life as if you’re living that dream. It’s a form or manifestation that will put you on the path to your highest form or self-actualization.
- Baby Steps: This part seems hard because you never know which of these little dreams will become a big part of your life. Take baby steps into this new reality. You will need a mix of success and failure to finally feel a sense of direction. You don’t know strength until you know direction and you can achieve that when you learn to trust your intuition again. You can also practice raising your vibration to meet this new reality with confidence.
Evangeline Koru is a psychic medium, life coach and spiritual advisor. Follow her on Instagram (@evangelinekoru) or visit her website at https://evangelinetheoracle.com/
